Parent Workshop Brings Community Together to Understand Adolescent Self-Esteem

At a community parent workshop held at the Sage Ridge campus, community parents learned evidence-based strategies to support their children’s confidence and well-being. Led by Dr. Sharon Weiss, is the long-time coach of the Lakeridge Swim Team and has coached the Sage Ridge Swim Team. She holds a PhD in Educational Psychology and has conducted extensive research into the role self-esteem plays in the emotional development of adolescents. 

“Supporting adolescents starts with allowing them to take responsibility for themselves,” said Heather Power, Sage Ridge School Counselor. “We were so pleased to have hosted Dr. Sharon Weiss for a dialogue with Reno-Tahoe families about practical ways for parents to support their child’s self-esteem and well-being.” In case you missed the open workshop with Dr. Weiss, held on Sunday, January 25, Dr. Weiss summarized her top takeaways.

Self‑Esteem Comes From Inner Worth

In essence, self-esteem is a person's overall evaluation of their worth as an individual, aka their self-worth. It's like an attitude we have for ourselves, one of approval or disapproval. In other words, it highlights the extent to which we believe ourselves to be capable, successful, and worthy. What's tricky is that it comes mostly from our interactions with others, especially significant others, and our perceptions of these interactions. Further complicating matters, our own successes and failures often get tangled up in the messages we perceive from others about our value with respect to those successes and failures; on top of that, when these messages are inconsistent (e.g., love & praise when we succeed; judgement & withdrawal when we fail), we begin to see a person's self-esteem falter, with increases in anxiety & depression, and decreases in resilience & consistent knowledge about oneself. The question is: How do we foster self-esteem in the most positive way? 

When we as educators, parents, coaches, and mentors prioritize a person's value (self-esteem) over attributing some level of importance to approval from us or from society, we tend to see strong, stable self-esteem, evidenced by more persistence in the face of failure, academic achievement, health, personal success, enhanced initiative, less issue with social anxiety & depression, and more extensive knowledge about one's self, meaning a person is clear and consistent (over time) in their beliefs about themselves. In contrast, when kids learn to focus on gaining the approval of others over valuing themselves, this can set up some pretty tough conditions for the developing self-esteem, especially when the condition is based on performance outcomes (often arbitrary) rather than self-worth enriched by effort or personal improvement. 

High self-esteem doesn't mean a person feels great all the time, but it does mean that resilience for life's challenges will never be in short supply when a child knows that behavior modifications & performance evaluations are separate from the love, support, and respect they receive from others as a person. 

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